Accountancy Age Awards

My firm, Goodman Jones, has just been nominated for an award for best use of internet.  I'm not arrogant enough to think the award is in the bag, but at GJ I've had some good natured teasing about acceptance speeches.  We've thought of some daft ones and here are our current favourites:

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1. Gwyneth Paltrow approach - downpour of tears and emotion about love of accountancy;

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2. Rock Band approach – can’t be with you tonight as they are currently on audit just outside the M25 circle;

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3. Marlon Brando approach – decline the award and send a native American Indian in our place (to protest against the SOX);

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4. Goodman Jones Rocks!

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Any more suggestions gratefully received.   

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Philip Woodgate

Comments

[Stuart Bruce]

I don't think winners get to speak at the Accountancy Age awards, but if you do then I'd go for 3 or 4.

[Philip Woodgate]

Hi Stuart

They did the last time I was there, but perhaps that has now changed. Keep an eye out for me if you are going! It would be great to talk.

[Stuart Jones]

Number 1. Tears always win especially from a guy. I haven't been invited (again) so we can't meet up - sorry.

[Philip Woodgate]

Tears we can do. Shame we won't meet up, I would have liked that. At some point I'm going to gate crash you at the Lakes with a good bottle of red wine.

[Malcolm]

I've only given one award acceptance speech in my (long) life, so I have plenty of experience on which to base my advice! I gratefully accepted the award and then explained how and why my Dear Old Mom would be so proud of me if she could "see me now". I didn't tell them that Dear Old Mom was alive and well and probably couldn't care less, but the audience was duly touched by my heart-felt emotions as I explained how the afore-mentioned, perhaps-deceased ancestor contributed to my successes.

I highly recommend this approach, however disingenuous it might be. Everyone will no doubt be simultaneously impressed and touched by the humility demonstrated by attributing no small part of your successes to a potentially-departed forebearer. It also deflects envy held by those who don't really think you deserved the award anyway!

[Dennis H]

The ICAEW Approach - we are deeply grateful that our stand on ethics shines through and we're pleased to let you know we're setting the paper for the 1st exams in 2007...or is its 2008?

The Practice Assurance Approach - I'm glad to see we ticked all the right boxes

The HMRC Approach - you'll note we don't offer tax avoidance services but please talk to us about tax mitigation.

Hugh MacLeod's Approach - thanks for that but nobody cares!

Larry Ellison's Approach - yeah...and we grew at 20 times that of PWC as well proving that we're on track to be the global number 1 by 2010.

Nick Carr's Approach - great, but IT doesn't matter.

[Philip Woodgate]

Hi Malcolm, emotion and accountants - a heady mix.

Hi Dennis, great suggestions - found the Larry Ellison approach particularly funny.

Techno savvy approach: you can dowload a podcast of my full speech on my blog.

[David Terrar]

Hi Philip,
I think you should take the gushing Halle Berry approach, thank everyone you have ever known, and manage to work in the line "You believed in me, you trusted in me and you gently guided me to very scary places" somewhere in your speech.

[Philip Woodgate]

Some great suggestions here. Maybe they can be worked into a medley:

Tears, thank you for believing in us, we grew at 20 time that of PWC, if my dear old mum could see me now, I'ld like to thank everyone, Goodman Jones rocks!

Should just about cover it - just got to win the damned thing now.